13 Signs Your Life Is Out of Alignment (And How to Get Back in Flow)

Not every rough patch means your life’s off track. Sometimes you’re just tired, stressed, or dealing with a bad week (or month). And that’s just life being life.

But when certain feelings – maybe you’re exhausted all the time, or nothing seems to excite you anymore, or you can’t shake the feeling that you’re stuck living someone else’s life – become the background noise of all your days, that’s usually a sign that something deeper is out of place.

It’s often a case of your outer life not matching your inner self. Your actions, thoughts, and core values are out of sync, so you end up carrying around this low-grade disconnection.

13 Signs Your Life Is Out of Alignment

I’m not claiming expertise here. Pretty sure no one wants to be an expert at feeling misaligned, but I’ve been through it a few times, and I’ve seen friends go through it too.

I’d say most people drift out of alignment when they start living by other people’s expectations instead of their own values. People-pleasing, chasing what looks great on the outside, or trying to live up to certain social norms, can play a huge role in pushing you to do things that seem “right” but don’t fit who you really are. Not surprisingly, over time, this creates a gap between your outer life and inner truth.

And to be fair, major life changes can also throw you off course. Moving places, job changes, breakups, personal loss – any of these can temporarily disconnect you from your center until you find your footing again.

If you’ve been feeling off for a while in a way you can’t shake and it’s not stemming from a temporary upheaval, here are some signs that might tell you if you’re out of alignment. Spotting them early can save you months or even years of running on the wrong track (ask me how I know!).

1. Things that you once wanted feel like chores

Listen, we all have things to do that may not count very high on the joy/pleasure scale. Some things just need doing.

But when the things you once cared about, such as say, birthday celebrations, personal hobbies, random side quests, even workouts, start feeling more like obligations rather than choices, it’s often the first hint you’ve drifted from your center. It’s a sharp signal that your “why” has gone missing.

2. You overthink… everything

Sure, we all get stuck in a decision loop sometimes. Do I text them back now or later? Should I take the job? Is this the right couch color?

But when you find yourself analyzing every choice like it’s a high-stakes decision, that’s a clue that your head and heart aren’t on speaking terms. You’re running mental marathons all by yourself, and yet, clarity never really shows up.

3. You live in a state of constant overwhelm

The laundry from 8 days ago is still lying there, and your dining table surface resembles a Jenga stack of packages you’ve not managed to put away in over two weeks (ummm… been there, done that!). Sounds familiar?

This is more than just being busy (or even simply lazy). Your to-do list feels like a Stairmaster with no stop button. You say yes to everything because you’ve lost touch with your priorities. And despite your best efforts, nothing ever seems to get done. You’re just barely holding it together.

This kind of sustained overwhelm is a sign that your life is running at a pace you (or your values) can’t keep up with.

4. You feel disconnected – from yourself and others

When you’re out of alignment, relationships often suffer first. You stop returning calls. Family dinners feel like something you have to get through. Conversations with friends or family stay surface-level.

It’s not just about people, either. Your own body feels like it’s on a different frequency. Your emotions are dulled, hard to reach. You find it easier to distract yourself than to be fully present. That quiet sense of disconnection can creep in slowly, until one day you realize you can’t remember the last time you felt genuinely present in the moment.

5. You’re constantly at odds with the people you love

This won’t necessarily look like screaming matches or dramatic blowouts. It’s the sharp tone, the passive-aggressive remarks, the way minor issues seem to flare up over nothing. Every conversation feels tense, like you’re both bracing for the next spark.

Most of the time, the issue is not even the dishes, the missed text, or who forgot the grocery list. Those are just the surface-level triggers. Underneath, they’re about unspoken needs and boundaries being overlooked. And yet, you’re not even able to articulate what it is that you truly need.

6. Your self-trust is missing in action

You get a gut feeling about a job, relationship, or decision, but you push it aside. You crowdsource decisions instead of trusting your own take. You choose what looks good on paper instead of what feels right. Because you’re out of alignment with your inner self, you’ve stopped trusting your intuition, your gut instinct.

Your intuition connects you to your authentic path, your inner wisdom. When you ignore it often enough, you drift further from who you’re meant to be, and this lack of self-trust becomes somewhat of a vicious cycle that you can’t seem to break out of.

7. Your creativity and motivation are nonexistent

One of the Pinterest-y graphical motivational quotes that has stayed with me over the years is “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

And now I am turning around and asking you the same question.

You used to jot down ideas in your notes app at midnight or wake up buzzing to start a new project. Your list of “things I want to try or do” used to be overflowing. Now, even thinking about starting something new feels like a mammoth task. Your inner spark seems to have suddenly disappeared.

What has likely happened is that you’ve been pouring your time and energy into things that don’t light you up, often for someone else’s sake. When you’re living too far from your own values, your own joy, for too long, your creative energy shuts down as a kind of self-protection. Why generate ideas or get excited about new things if you’re simply going to ignore them anyway?

8. You avoid silence or being alone

When was the last time you sat in a quiet room without grabbing your phone, turning on the TV, or finding something to distract you? If the thought makes you twitchy, that’s telling.

Silence can be confronting. It leaves space for feelings, doubts, and questions you’ve been keeping at arm’s length. When you’re out of alignment, those quiet moments can feel unbearable, because deep down, you know they’ll bring up truths you’re not ready to face. So you keep the noise constant, anything to drown out the part of you that’s asking, “What’s really going on with me?”

9. You self-soothe through overconsumption

You’re not actually hungry, but you wander into the kitchen anyway. You’re spending hours on social media even though your to-do list is a mile long. You buy things you don’t need just for the little dopamine hit.

None of these things are “bad” in themselves or when indulged in occasionally, but when they become your go-to coping tools, they’re usually keeping you numb to the bigger truth that something’s not working deep down.

10. You romanticize the “opposite” life

You’re not using a romanticized mental image to inspire you or to fuel change, but rather as a form of escape from your current reality. It’s become less about aspiration and more about avoiding the responsibilities in front of you.

If you’re in a relationship, you imagine how free you’d feel single. If you have kids, you picture a carefree childfree life. If you work in an office, you dream about becoming a digital nomad or disappearing to a cabin in the woods. It’s less “what do I want to create?” and more “how can I get away from this version of my life?”

11. You don’t have dreams for the future anymore

Are you the type of person who used to have grand five-year or ten-year plans, and now suddenly it feels like they’ve all faded away? If someone asked you today what you want in five years, would you draw a blank?

Somewhere along the way, you’ve become so focused on getting through each day that imagining more than that feels either pointless or too far out of reach. The gap between where you are and where you want to be seems so big that you’d rather not think about it at all.

12. You’re only living for the weekend or vacation time

Okay, let’s be real here for a minute. Most of us who work corporate jobs joke about making it through the work week so that we can enjoy our downtime over the weekend. There is nothing inherently wrong with that.

But if every Monday through Friday is something that you’re always just enduring, and you’re constantly counting down to your next escape, it makes the majority of your life feel like filler content between the “real” moments. Is that really how you want your life to be?

13. You feel constantly drained

No matter how much sleep you get or how many supplements you swallow down, your baseline is tired. This isn’t just normal tiredness from a busy day. It’s a kind of bone-deep exhaustion that doesn’t go away with rest.

It’s not hard to understand that your energy would get depleted if you’re constantly fighting against your natural flow. You’re spending mental and physical resources on things that don’t align with who you really are or what you truly want to be doing. And unsurprisingly, the constant exhaustion feels inevitable.

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If you’d like a printable/PDF copy of this list, I’ve created a mini-ebook that you can refer to for a quick check-in.

How to Start Realigning

Every time a persistent feeling of misalignment has shown up in my life, I’ve ultimately had to pause and take a hard look at what was truly going on deep down. It can be hard to miss, because we often mistake it as a surface-level, short-term bad phase, until it becomes this constant throb of restlessness or resentment that bleeds into everything.

I wish realignment were as simple as running away to a cabin in the woods for a week and expecting the inherent peace and quiet of your surroundings to magically make your sense of disconnection go away. I mean, it could, but not without you taking a moment to do some real soul searching to get to the root of the matter.

Because that’s what it’s really about – doing some meaningful self-reflection to unearth the actual problem, and using that awareness to make purposeful course corrections that bring your daily choices closer to your real values.

Grab a journal and ask yourself these key questions:

• What activities make you feel energized?
• When do you feel most like yourself?
• Where do you feel pressure that isn’t your own?
• Who are you trying to prove something to?
• What have I been pretending is “fine” when it’s really not?
• If your 15-year-old self could see you now, what would they be most proud of? And what would they feel most disheartened by?

Take some time to journal these out and see what patterns come up.

Reconnect with your values.

Write down your top five values right now. Are your daily actions reflecting them? If someone else were to observe your life for a week, what would they think your values really are? Would these two lists of values match?

Try an energy audit.

List your day-to-day activities over the course of a week and mark each one as giving you energy or draining it. It’s a simplistic exercise, but it will show you where changes need to happen.

And you don’t have to make dramatic changes overnight. Begin with something manageable. Can you say “no” to one thing that drains you this week? Can you take out 15 minutes to do something fun/energizing for yourself? Can you delegate some things? Are there some “forced” obligations you can turn down?

Create supportive routines.

Build daily habits that connect you to what matters most. Start small with just one or two changes so you don’t get overwhelmed. Maybe it’s five minutes of deep breathing or reading some piece of fiction that brings you joy. Incorporate some regular movement/exercise.

Schedule regular activities that bring you joy. Whether it’s hiking, cooking, calling a friend, or revisiting forgotten hobbies, make time for what fills you up.

Stop hiding behind screens.

When you are feeling misaligned, it is easy to slip into endless scrolling, streaming, or gaming. Not because these things bring you joy, but because they keep you distracted from what is really going on.

Try replacing even 15 minutes of screen time with something more intentional. Read a book, sit outside, doodle, or simply let yourself be bored. Those quieter moments give your mind space to find clarity.

Reinvest in human connection.

The longest study on human happiness found that building and maintaining deep relationships is the key to a good life.

Now, sure, your sense of introversion could run deeper than others, but you still need people in your life with whom you can be yourself. People who energize you and show up for you in both good and hard times.

Make an effort to nurture these relationships. Schedule a coffee date, or send a short voice note (I personally love doing this!) or a message that says, “Thinking of you.” The goal is to maintain your social connections and to remind yourself that you are not in this alone. And also show up for others when needed. Relationships are a two-way street, after all.

If your sense of misalignment is too deep, it might seem impossible that you could get back to a simpler time, when everything in your life seemed to be in flow. But I want you to keep the faith that with a little bit of realignment and adjustment, you can start feeling like you’re back in the driver’s seat of your life.

If some of the signs I mentioned earlier feel familiar right now, see them not as proof that you are “failing,” but as gentle indicators that it’s time to pause and realign. Even gentle, intentional changes can make a big difference.

I speak from a place of deep understanding because I’ve gone through misalignment in fleeting, surface-level phases as well as in those heavier, long-lasting seasons that have taken time to unravel.

I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever felt your life was out of alignment? How did you recognize it, and what helped you find your way back? Share your experience in the comments so we can learn from each other’s journeys.