What Living in Alignment Really Means

Do you know what the #1 design principle is according to Adobe? “Focus on alignment.”

Why should it be any different when you’re trying to design an intentional life?

I get it, the eye rolls, I mean. “Living in alignment” sounds like something you’d hear at a Goop-branded wellness retreat, sandwiched between a sage-smudging and a sound bath. But behind the Instagram cliché, it’s one of the most effective ways to create a meaningful life that actually feels good to live.

When Life Looks Fine on Paper but Feels Off

There are seasons in life when everything looks fine on the outside – your schedule’s full, you’re showing up, you’re doing the things, you’re surrounded by loved ones. And yet, somewhere underneath it all, you start to feel… off.

Not in a dramatic, everything-is-falling-apart kind of way. Just slightly out of sync. Like you’ve drifted a little too far from your center without even realizing it. Maybe you catch yourself snapping at people for no reason. Or feeling unmotivated, even when there’s nothing technically “wrong.” Or you’re constantly in consumption mode, be it news, social media, food, or shopping, because the very thought of being still, or sitting with your feelings, feels unbearable.

These are often a sign that you’re out of alignment. You’re doing all the “right” things, but you still feel disconnected from who you are and what you really want. Over time, that sense of disconnection bleeds into your relationships, your career, and your overall happiness.

I’ve faced misalignment in both small, situational ways and in deep, long-term ways.

One time, it was work-related. I was frustrated, unmotivated, and wondering if I was even in the right field. The results I wanted weren’t showing up fast enough, and I couldn’t tell if my job was truly the kind of work I wanted to be doing. The turning point didn’t arrive in some dramatic “aha” moment. It came from a slow accumulation of small but important steps:

• An honest conversation with my boss that broadened my perspective
• A late-night journaling session where I wrote down what I valued and what I wanted from work
• And finally, an intentional decision to stop chasing the “shoulds” I’d been carrying around

Those shifts helped me reconnect with my work in a way that felt authentic, and my job today has shaped up to be far more fulfilling as a result.

Other times, it took me years to even recognize that the low-grade dissatisfaction I was constantly feeling was the result of a complete disconnection from my true values and needs.

What Does Living in Alignment Even Mean?

To me, living in alignment means your outer life – the decisions, habits, and actions people can see – matches your inner life: your values, your energy, and the season you’re in.

When you’re aligned, your choices make sense to you, like your days finally make sense from the inside out. You’re not just doing what looks impressive or what will keep people off your back. You’re living in a way that feels real, authentic, and intentional.

But here’s what it’s not:

• Perfection. You will still have messy days, hard decisions to make, and times when you feel off-track.
• Complete control. Life will still throw curveballs. Alignment is about how you respond, not eliminating all uncertainty.
• An escape from responsibility. Bills will still need paying, and people will still need you. The difference is you’re choosing how to show up in a way that feels true to you.
• Passive. Alignment requires action. Knowing what’s out of sync is only half the work; you still have to take action for your life to change in reality.

Think of alignment as the meeting point between your inner compass and your calendar. And that compass? It will change over time.

Your Alignment Will Evolve – Let It

What feels aligned in your 20s may feel entirely different in your 30s or 40s. The values that drive your career might shift after a life change. Even within a single year, your sense of alignment can change depending on what season you’re in.

This isn’t a sign you’ve “lost your way.” It’s a sign you’re growing. Your worldview expands, your priorities shift, and your definition of “what matters” matures. The key is to keep checking in with yourself and adjusting your actions/expectations as needed.

A little personal story time here. My ex-husband and I were college sweethearts, and if you’d told 27-year-old-me that we’d be divorced by the time I was 37, I would have called it impossible. But, as the years went by, the way our marriage unfolded no longer matched who we were growing up to be or what we wanted for ourselves.

Of course our decision to seek a divorce didn’t come about overnight. There were countless conversations, attempts to bridge the gap, and nights spent weighing the cost of letting go. But eventually, we had to admit our values and our definition of “what matters” in a marriage had drifted in opposite directions. Choosing divorce was excruciating. But now, being on the other side of it, I’m 101% convinced it was the right decision for both of us.

I’m not suggesting that marriage is disposable, to be torn up at the first sign of disagreement. But sometimes, holding on is the thing that keeps you from living honestly. Life is too short not to seek contentment, peace, and joy, especially when the choice comes from clarity, not spite.

How to Start Living in Alignment

If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, here’s a simple process to begin:

1. Define Your Core Values (Right Now)
Write down what matters most to you in this season of life, not what mattered five years ago, and not what you think should matter. Be honest with yourself.

Check Out: The Ultimate List of Core Values

2. Notice the Gaps
Look at your work, relationships, and routines. Where do your daily choices feel in sync with those values? Where do they feel out of step?

3. Make One Small Change
You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start small. Say no to an obligation that drains you. Swap one habit for something that energizes you. Every shift matters.

4. Keep Checking In
Alignment isn’t a one-and-done thing, and it certainly isn’t about instant transformation. Ask yourself regularly: “Does this still fit me?” And be willing to adjust.

If you’re looking for a deeper exercise, check out this post: A Realistic Guide to Living in Alignment with Your Values

The Bottom Line

Living in alignment isn’t about creating a flawless life where everything feels “just right.” It’s about creating a life that matches you and giving yourself permission to let that “you” evolve over time.

Some days, everything will work smoothly. Other days, you’ll realize you’ve drifted and need to course-correct. But as long as you’re steering your life by your own compass, rather than living on autopilot, you’re already moving toward a more aligned, intentional life.

How about you – do you feel like your life is in alignment? Are you living in tune with your core values? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section!